The Shadow of What Could Have Been

I received this email back in February, and I was pleasantly surprised it was from a male. I want to get stories from all walks of life, so I hope posting this email will generate some conversation from the male perspective as well. I will share only some of the responses back and forth for the sake of the persons related to to the story. What I learned from this story is that if you have a connection with someone, then make sure you tell them and show them because a second chance may not come around again. When you are at the moment try and fight for it, so at least you can say you worked at it and had no regrets. I can't help thinking though, what the rest of the story would be if those dorm room walls could talk. I would love to hear what your thoughts are on the matter?

Dear Writing In Zen,

I remember talking to someone a few years younger than me that I was really feeling. I don’t know about her, but I had a sexual attraction to her. Everything about her was sexy from the way she looked to how she moved. I stopped talking to her because I felt she was trying to play me for her ex. We kinda hooked back up a few times as we got older and I’ve always felt this attraction to her. I remember going to visit her in her dorm room and how we would chill and how I wanted her yet it never went down. I believe because I messed around with a female she knew. To this day I always wonder what happened and try to understand things to this day. Only fantasies I guess! Anonymous

My Response:

Dear Anonymous,

Thank you so much for sharing your story. You have made my day! This story was intriguing. Just my thoughts, but I think there was a connection and possibly the fear of being hurt. If she is anything like me or other women I know, the fact you used to talk to or be involved with someone she might have known; possibly did set some of the tones for why she held back the way she did. As for the ex-boyfriend of hers, I'm sure he did some severe damage as well. Perhaps it was fate that you both didn't work out due to the timing. With this, I'm sure those times hanging out and talking with each other helped her heart heal, and she cherishes those moments you two spent together. I hope this gives you some possible clarity. Question though, besides the sexual feelings, do you think you could have been capable of loving her back then the way she deserved or was it just a physical connection?

Writing In Zen

Anonymous Response:

Thank you for replying. To answer your question I think I could’ve! The reason I say that is because even though me and her are in different situations I still find myself thinking about her to this day! That’s how I know the attraction and feelings are real! To add to that, I find myself going to her social media to check her out from time to time. Wondering if she does the same.

Anonymous